n. the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.
Funniest conversation of the day.
Joyce: Are you related to my brother?
Me: I’m his daughter.
We both laugh uproariously.
I remember being in like 10th grade and sitting at school behind the football field with my friend in the late spring or early summer waiting for band practice. I had just gotten this new jump suit that I was excited to wear. It had an open back so I wasn’t wearing a bra. And my friend says to me “you’re hanging free today aren’t you” We were both in the d-cup club at this point (she was probably more like an E) so I was already a little self conscious about my bra-less status so when she called it to my attention I suddenly felt ashamed but still somewhat proud that I braved it. Then she said something like “you’re lucky you have perky tits and you can do that.” And I said to her, “What?? My tits are NOT perky they sag down so much.” Then she was like “your tits are perky MINE sag.” And I remember thinking your tits ain’t saggy their just huge. But thinking to myself that we both did kind of have saggy boobs.
Now I suddenly remember that conversation and I’m like… we were both 15!! Neither us could have possibly had saggy boobs. This world fucked our heads up. Two fit, feminine, huge breasted teenagers were arguing about whose boobs were saggier… I guess because they weren’t these perfect circle balloon things or just barely there.
Anyway that just crossed my mind this morning. I guess that’s my feminist rant of the day.